I haven’t put anything up in a while and the simplest reason for that is that I haven’t really been writing. Sure I’ve occasionally been jotting an idea down in my notebook but no substantial writing has been done so I’ve had nothing to write about but it’s Camp NaNoWriMo this month so I’ve made a bit of an effort. Not a great effort but definitely something resembling an effort.
I’m currently working on editing/rewriting because I found the solution to a problem that’s been haunting me for ages and it requires a complete refit of the beginning. This is something I generally feel positive about as the first part of the WIP was written during NaNoWriMo ’15 and hasn’t been touched since and I’ve always known it could be improved. So I set off with hope and enthusiasm but I’ve found myself stumbling.
Crippling self doubt is my current hurdle. Knowing it is something that racks my writing friends on Twitter helps me to keep putting one word in front of the other, just about, but even as I do it I am filled with fear that I’m missing vital pieces in this story that will mean it is never whole.
Even as I write this down I know that acknowledging the deficiencies of the story is the first step to addressing them and finding ways to improve it but that is an abstract thought that looks good on a motivational poster and which doesn’t really help me push through the anxiety.